The Guilt From Things Not Accomplished

Posted on March 22nd, 2013 by kimanzi constable

I’m all about truly living, we only get one life to live and I’m going to live it to the fullest. In that spirit I try to take any chance I can to try something new that could better my life.

My wife and daughter

My wife and daughter

One thing our family decided to do this year was Tae Kwon Do. It was something I always wanted to do as a kid and I knew my kids would love it. The only problem I foresaw was the schedule.

Things are a little bit busy these days so taking on something new…….. We have been doing Tae Kwon Do for about two months and at first I was there every night.

As time has gone on my wife and kids have continued to go but my attendance has slipped. As I get closer to my book launching, as I head out to speak at events worldwide, I just haven’t been able to make it.

I noticed something today that I think I’ve been afraid to say out loud: it’s OK! 

For the last few weeks as my family has continued to go and progress and I’ve continued to miss class and fall behind, I’ve felt very guilty. I’ve had all kinds of thoughts running through my mind telling me I’m not living what I preach, telling me that I’m not trying hard enough.

I had to remind myself of a couples of things that I want to share with you today if you’re in the same boat or if you experience this guilt in the future.

You can’t do it all

As much as I try to practice my superman skills (which I don’t have), reality reminds me that I can’t do everything. I have to let you in on a secret, neither can you!

I know that many of us have big goals this year which will require a lot of work and maybe a lot of tired days but at some point you’ll reach your limit. If you are pushing ahead with your goals and make progress, cut yourself a little slack if you can’t do everything right now. 

You have to take a breather from time to time

I talked about this a few weeks ago but if you don’t properly rest you’ll burn out. Michael Hyatt even goes as far as to say you should consider taking naps during the day and I’m sure his schedule is insane.

Yesterday I was ready to go to Tae Kwon Do when it just hit me, I was too exhausted to go, I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to go so badly and I felt guilty I was even thinking of not going but I had done so much yesterday, I was extremely productive.

Immediately I realized I couldn’t do it all and it was Ok to miss it and just rest. The result was the next day I was rested and not dragging which could have ruined that day.

Give yourself permission to miss whatever you feel guilty about missing and take the rest that could help the rest of your day or week.

You can always revisit when you’re a little less busy

I’ve wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do since I was a kid but now is not the time. I’m speaking a lot, I’m launching a book, I’m coaching and consulting. I’m hitting the gym everyday losing weight, as much as I want to learn, now is just not the time.

After all the craziness of this year dies down I can come back to Taw Kwon Do and give it my full attention. By this time next year I hope to be writing posts telling you about all the boards I broke:)

If there is something in your journey that you just don’t have time for then think long and hard and if you can’t do it right now, come back later. This way you’re not doing a bunch of things half way, you’re focusing and making each thing you do killer good.

Just make sure

I want to give you a word of cation here, please don’t miss interpret what I’m saying. There’s a big difference between not taking on something new because you’re busy and not taking on something new because you don’t feel like it.

Life is too short to accept laziness and we have way too much to accomplish this year. So really examine your motivation for what you take on and what you put off to later, only you can judge.

The bottom line is if you have felt guilty because you’re juggling too much then don’t! Determine what’s important right now and work on things as you have the right time for them. Trust me, your stress level will go down!

What is one thing that you’ve felt guilty about not having time for right now? 

P.S. 

Don’t miss the FREE webinar Jeremy Jones and I are putting on about why most marketing fails. If you’re going to launch a book or anything online this webinar is for you. Even if you can’t make it, sign up to get the replay emailed to you later. Sign up here

 

  • http://askjeremyjones.com/ Jeremy Jones

    Yep. I catch myself starting to many things also. Best thing I have done is use an app like Evernote with a “big ideas” tag where I give myself permission to hold off until later but I know I won’t forget it there. I have heard it said “you can anything, you just can’t do everything…at the same time”

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s a great quote and I like the tip about Evernote, it’s a great resource.

      • http://askjeremyjones.com/ Jeremy Jones

        Awesome. Great blog post. Hope you are feeling better today brother.

        • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

          Yeah, telling myself to stop being a baby :)

  • http://dreamjobprogram.com/ Drew Tewell

    Just yesterday, all of the things I’m doing were catching up with me. Then, I didn’t feel like doing anything. So I agree, rest is important. I still know I’m capable of doing more, I just have to do less better…for now! Thanks, Kimanzi, for a timely post!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      I’m glad we got to talk on the phone about this. It’s nice to have support system to go to in moments like this.

  • Dave Arnold

    Great post. I struggle with the same thing: “I can’t do it all.” I’m trying to learn how to be better at prioritizing my schedule… it’s a battle, but I think I’ve got a good rhytm now.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      You’ve got some important things going on right now Dave so I’m glad you’re on top of it!

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    Juggling is something I try to do alot. Right now am weighing some options that might eat into my writing, networking, research time. …and am crazy worried about that! So I’ve just been telling myself that am not God, that am in His business and He’ll make all things work out for good. Great reminders here, thank you.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s a great way to look at things Ngina, it’s exciting to see how you’re taking action!

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    It’s so easy to just tack things on to our to-do lists, but it takes a strong person to take a step back and realize that our resources our limited.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Very true and I know I’m talking to an expert :)

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    Great post, I really struggle with this bro! I want to do so much but often don’t have the time to do everything I want. Life has to have a balanced between work, family, and chasing our dreams. Thanks for the timely post:)

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks for adding value Dan. Finding the right balance is key and something we all have to work on!

      • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

        My pleasure.

        • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

          You’re the man!

  • http://www.lincolnparks.com/ Lincoln Parks

    Boy oh boy. I feel so bad about not being able to do everything that I want to do. I was recently involved in something that I had to let go of because the timing was just not right for me. I place my family as such an integral part of what I do that I had to let the part go. Its hard to juggle and do everything and some things you just have to let go. Great post, this is truly difficult to do.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Yes it is but hang in there brother, you’re doing great work and changing lives!

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    This is a much needed post for so many. Satan likes to use guilt to keep us down and take away our joy. John 10:10

    You’re right, we can’t do it all. But we should be doing something!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Great verse TC and Amen!

  • http://twitter.com/MelissAuClair Melissa AuClair

    Good message Kimanzi. It’s easy to get down about the ONE area we aren’t succeeding in. It sounds like you are excelling in a lot of other things- fabulous! I’m glad I can watch you on y our journey.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Melissa and thanks for adding value to the post!

  • http://sparkvoice.wordpress.com/ DS

    I’ve found that there is a fine line. I was using busy-ness as an excuse. Instead of making time, I made excuses. I heard a quote from Darren Hardy that said, “Yes doesn’t require any courage.” I had to stop saying yes so much, take the heat from people, and defend why I couldn’t commit. It allowed me to be able to pounce onto something that really excited me.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s a great quote from Darren and he is spot on!