Help Dealing with Difficult Situations

Posted on March 26th, 2013 by Kimanzi

I had an amazing time speaking in Atlanta last week, I even got to hang out with our friend Lincoln Parks.

When I got home some weird things started happening. My tongue went numb, I couldn’t taste anything Reach outfor a couple of days. Then I started getting some bad headaches, after that I had problems with my left eye and the left side of my face.

I knew something was up but you know how it is, I figured I would be fine in a few days. After a few days I noticed something was differently wrong with my face, so I went in to get it checked out.

The long and short of it is I have Bell’s Palsy disorder. Bell’s Palsy is a condition that paralyzes one side of your face (the left side for me) and happens at least once to 80% of Americans.

There are a few things that can help like steroids (which I don’t want), some natural supplements but generally it clears up on its own, it just takes time. How much time? No one can really say. My brother had it and it went away in two weeks, my Pastor had it and it took two years.

So now when I talk it sounds different and most people stare at my face. I’m not in any pain, it’s just taking some time to get used to eating and not being able to use the left side of my face. My eye on the left side cannot close, so it is constantly watering.

Others have it worse

When we’re faced with difficult situations people often ask us how we feel or how we’re doing. We want to appear strong (some do believe this) so we say we’re good and we know others have it worse. I have said that a lot as people have asked.

Yet the truth is I’m screaming inside! Why me? Why now? I have conferences to speak at and how can I do that without being able to fully talk? I know others have it rough but this is rough for me right here and right now! When will this just go away?

I have gone through the whole range of emotions, I have outwardly been myself, yet inwardly depressed. I know I should turn to prayer but I’ve been too angry.

As I’m writing this I have gotten to the point of acceptance and realization. I do realize that this condition is not the end of the world, I do realize that I’m blessed beyond belief and I have absolutely no reason to be depressed.

I was in Kenya and the Philippines last year so I do know that there are people who are just looking to survive much less have this be considered a “problem.”

Deal with your emotions, then move on

When you’re dealing with a difficult situation the emotions are bound to come, we are emotional people. The key is to NOT bottle them up inside, find someone you know and trust and unload on them (don’t hit them or anything), tell them exactly how you feel.

For myself, I had to pull my wife aside and just get real, I wouldn’t be writing this post if it wasn’t for her support and willingness to listen.

You may be a strong person but no one can do it alone, we all need someone to lean on at one point or another. Reaching out to someone for support can be the difference between realization and absolute defeat! Click to Tweet

After you have gotten those emotions out of your system, move forward and live your life. Now understand that those feelings will always be there somewhere in the back of your mind but living your life means that they won’t win.

We have too much to accomplish

After I got through my emotional issues I realized that I have to get to work. I have big goals and dreams that I want to accomplish this year. I have many people who I want to help make their dreams a reality.

So even though I’m not at 100% physically, I still have to move forward and so do you. I know it’s rough, I know how you feel but this is your year, this is the year when you make all those dreams a reality.

After you’ve accomplish your goals is when you can go back and cry if you want but I’m guessing by then you’ll be over it, I know I will be.

Take an action step

So if you are going through a difficult situation right now then I want you to do one thing right away, even today: reach out and tell someone exactly what’s going on in your mind. 

Please feel free to email me at kimanzi@talesofork.com if you need someone to talk to about what you’re going through. If you do have someone in your life that you can talk to, then please don’t that ASAP.

So that’s your action step to takeaway from this post and the first step in moving forward. So……………

How do you deal with difficult situations? Is there one you feel comfortable sharing?

  • http://www.jmlalonde.com Joe Lalonde

    I remember you sharing this with me a couple of days ago. I can only imagine the struggle you’re going through with this. Prayers are being sent up for you!

    While nothing like yours, I dealt with a couple of rough work situations lately. We’re going through a huge move and it’s causing some headaches. I’m dealing with them by putting my head down and plowing forward.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thank you Joe, you have been such a good friend during this time. Sorry to hear about the work stuff and I’m here if you want to talk.

  • http://JaredLatigo.com/ Jared Latigo

    Thanks for sharing your heart man. I know it’s gotta be frustrating. When I went through my heart problems when I was younger, I hated life and everything about it. It was difficult to walk through and trust God in that situation.

    Sending prayers you way bro, you’ll get through it and even if it takes two years, you’ve still got a great message and people will get value from it anyway. If it helps, your voice didn’t seem much different when we talked so you’re probably feeling like it’s worse than it really is.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Jared, I really appreciate that. It’s cool that you got through those heart problems stronger and I know I will.

  • Dave Arnold

    Thanks for sharing and reaching out, Kimanzi. I am praying for you too. I am reminded of what Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Hang in there – God will use this. I am actually writing a blog post this week about how we often discover our purpose (or more of our purpose) when we face struggles. I share a story of what happened to me last year with my organization.
    God bless you, bro!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s an excellent verse and reminder Dave, now I can understand it a little better!

  • slhenrici

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I had a friend who had bells palsy. It isn’t fun. I go through a lot of the same emotions you went through. My daughter has a seizure disorder. I try to stay strong for her, but inside I rage. I also realize we have it better than most. It doesn’t make it easier though. You are brave and I admire your honesty and strength. You are actually better after this experience surely. You now are connecting with more in a deeper way. Thank you!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks for sharing what you’re are going through with your daughter, you two will definitely be in my prayers. Thanks for the kind words.

  • Peg Cheng

    Kimanzi, I am so sorry to hear this. My mom got Bell’s Palsy too when I was in college and she was 49. I was very worried about her. She gently massaged her face every day, many times a day. I don’t know where she got this advice from but after a quick Google, I noticed that there are a lot of articles on this practice. At the time it happened though, the WWW was practically unknown and we didn’t have articles or advice at our disposal. My mom kept doing the massage and in about a month or two, the Bell’s Palsy went away. I was so relieved.

    My mom also tried to take it easy during the time she had BP. I know it’s hard and must be so frustrating, Kimanzi, but I hope you can get support from your family and friends and will try to not be hard on yourself during this time. Try to take more breaks and time out for yourself to do facial massage, breathe and think positive thoughts. Thinking of you and hoping your BP will alleviate soon.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      I already started to after reading this comment Peg, thank you. I do have a busy schedule but I have been trying to take it easier. I’m going to take your advice!

      • Peg Cheng

        You’re welcome, Kimanzi! I’m so glad to hear you have been trying to take it easier. Thinking of you and hoping your face returns to normal very soon.

        • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

          With friends like you I feel better faster :)

  • http://intentionaltoday.com/ Ngina Otiende

    Kimanzi, I like what you say about reaching out, cos so often we want to toughen it out. I also like that part of moving forward, doing what we can do.
    Praying for your quick recovery and grace for the season.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Ngina, I hope the post helps someone in a similar situation.

  • http://twitter.com/DeafMom Karen Putz

    As difficult and challenging this is for you right now, it becomes part of your journey which you can speak about and perhaps share in a way which will help someone else discover their own ability to overcome challenges. Hugs.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Karen, that especially means a lot coming from you. I know I’m blessed and need to turn to prayer!

  • http://MikeLoomis.CO/ Mike Loomis

    Thank you for sharing this, Kimanzi. I’ve never dealt with something like you’re going through. But my wife did injure her knee years ago, and there were times during rehab when she couldn’t walk, or even move her leg. Scary. We tried to strike a balance between action, rest, and faith. (we said “we will run and play together” about a million times) So – no pep talks – just know we’re praying for ya.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thank you Mike and hope your wife’s knee is doing better now. Thanks for the advice :)

  • http://www.workyouenjoy.com/ Adam Rico

    Thank you for being willing to share this challenge Kimanzi. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. If there is anything I can do for you just let me know.

    I heard someone say once that “we just want to go through life, but God wants us to grow through life.” For whatever’s that’s worth I know you’ll turn this into a growth experience and help others as a result.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s gold Adam, thanks! I know I have to turn to HIm.

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    Oh wow, Kimanzi. I hope everything goes away quickly. I can imagine how scary and depressing that is. I’ll say a prayer for you.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks so much Loren!

  • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

    I think the key to success and achievement is moving through tough times like those. Which you are doing a good job about dealing with it while still moving forward. I’ll be praying for you!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Dan and you’re absolutely right!

      • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

        :)

        • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

          You’re everywhere!

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    I can’t imagine how frustrating and scarey this must be for you and your family. I’m sorry you’re having to experience this, but as Christians we know God already knew this was coming. He was prepared. He’s prepared for what faces you tomorrow as well.

    Stay strong in the Word and know there are people (like me) lifting you up in prayers.

    Thanks for sharing this difficult experience. It helps others know we all have problems, no ones life is perfect.

    God bless.

    Proverb 3;5-6

    Isaiah 26:3

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks so much for the encouragement and prayer TC!

  • http://sparkvoice.wordpress.com/ DS

    Kimanzi – I appreciate your attitude. I know that you did not plan on having BP. I can only imagine the frustration, and the mental tricks taking place. Thanks for being open about it, and how it’s challenged you personally. It’s my hope that you can find encouragement from a few of our meager voices who are offering up well wishes and good health on your behalf.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks DS, at first it seemed like the end of the world, now I know His grace is sufficient :)

  • http://twitter.com/miriamschwab Miriam Schwab

    Oy! Sorry to hear about this Kimanzi. I hope this passes soon, and you can get back into your busy schedule in full swing!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks so much Miriam :)

  • Joseph Morrissey

    Incredibly inspiring and motivating. Thank you for your words of wisdom; they were beyond helpful.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      You don’t know how happy that makes me! Email me if you want some more help!