As I started to chase my dreams and transition to truly living I read every blog my eyes could handle. I listened to every podcast I could find about self-improvement on iTunes. I devoured content and was inspired every ten minutes, it was a blessing and curse!

As I started to take action and apply what I was learning something happened: it didn’t work!

What was going on? I studied, I came up with a plan and the people I learned from were really successful, so what went wrong?

Why is the engine that drives the car

I missed something very crucial, I couldn’t answer WHY I was doing what I was doing. I would write a certain way or even use a certain tool because that’s what I saw the big shots doing.

I would use social media this way, I would promote my books that way. I started this service or created that product, all because of what others had done with success.

The reason I didn’t have success and why you won’t either is because I hadn’t thought of why I should use that tool or why I should do things that certain way.

If I had thought of why I wanted to do this or that, I could have saved myself a lot of valuable time and resources.

Different situations require different actions

Great content and instruction is amazing and inspiring but not all of it is meant for you. You are unique and your dreams are unique, what worked for someone else might not work for you.

Sure you can force it and maybe see a few results but more than anything you’re taking time away from a different solution that could work much better for you.

Take great instruction you get and use the process but personalize the implementation!
Click to Tweet

The simple test with big results

If you see a new idea or something you want to try, perform the simple why test. Before you use that idea, just ask yourself why it makes sense for your situation.

Ask yourself why you think it would work and why it applies to your uniqueness. If you can answer why specifically, then you won’t waste your time or take away from a better solution.

It’s easy to get fired up from amazing content and it’s much easier to just want to copy someone else.
Click to Tweet

My why illustrated 

Now as I added these click to tweets I’ve asked myself why I would do it. I heard Derek Halpern talk about using them and I used to use them because he does.

By asking myself why I can clearly see the reason and value: people are more likely to tweet these quotes then the entire post. I put a link back to the post and when people tweet, their friends are likely to click back to here. I answered my why

See how that works?

Have you been guilty of not asking why you do something? List one example please

She has since come back from that dark place and really helped inspired people to take action. In this interview we hear her story, her dreams and the journey to them. We also hear about her book that releases today and the over $400 and $5000 in prizes/bonuses she is giving away.

She gives some great practical advice that will definitely help you chase your dreams and change your life. Enjoy the video:

Again, check out Dixie’s book and all the free stuff here.

You can get through them

If you have been reading this blog for a while, then you’ve seen that I’ve shared with you many of my own difficult situations and how I overcame them.

Let’s face it, we all go through difficult situations, life is full of them. The difference between the amazing and successful people like Dixie and the one’s who haven’t made it is their response.

How will you respond to a difficult situation? Will you give up or fight? Fight for your dream, fight for what’s important to your life.

When you read books like Dixie’s or so many other good books and great content, you have to learn the lesson but more importantly, you have to apply it.

Whatever it is you’re going through, know that you can get through it and if you do, you can accomplish amazing and inspiring things. If you do maybe one day I’ll be interviewing you

Have you ever had a difficult situation that lead to success? 

Click on the pic to enlarge

The first time I read this review it was like World War 3 in my mind, I think I even screamed out loud! After the initial anger I got depressed, how could someone say that about something I poured my heart into?

As I thought about it more, I really started to believe the review, it really feed into the doubts I had in the back of my mind. We all know those doubts are always there lurking at the surface, this negative review was just what my doubt needed to bring it all out.

Since this first negative review I have accumulated a few more haters and they love to tell me how much I stink. I get a few emails a week from haters calling me names and putting my work down.

I have pushed forward and learned a few lessons that I want to share with you today because you will come across haters as you chase your dreams. Rest assured that as you make progress on your dreams, the haters will come out of the woodwork!

You are better than what they tell you

As we chase our dreams and change our lives, all of our doubts and fears will surface like crazy and we tend to believe them. The haters will feed on that and confirm what the doubts are telling you.

Here’s the thing though: they’re WRONG! You are great, you’re amazing, you’re one of a kind and the only YOU in the world. The things that the haters are telling you just aren’t true.

Now understand something, not everyone will agree with you and your message, I get that. When I saw haters I’m talking about the ones that go out of their way to be a poopy head (yes I used that word). 

You can’t listen to the haters because you just don’t have the time, you’re going to change this world if you keep pushing forward with those dreams.

If you listen, your dreams die

You know this but when you give into the haters, you get depressed and your dreams take a back seat. Even if you still work on your dream it’s just not the same, you lose some of that fire.

All you can do is do the best job you can and give your dreams everything you’ve got. If you have done that, then there is nothing a hater can say to you that should matter to you.

Realize that they will always be there just like your doubts but you can’t give in because your dreams are far too important.

My thank you letter

Dear Haters,

Thank you so much for your words, they were the motivation I needed to work even harder. When I read them, I knew I would prove you wrong if I gave it my all, so that’s what I did.

I realize putting others down makes you feel better but we have enough of that in the world already, how about giving it a rest? You’ll never get to me, I’ll never listen to you, my dreams are far too important then a few unkind words.

I stand here now fully living my life and my dreams and I owe part of it to you, so thank you. I will pray that one day you’ll see what I’ve done is totally possible for you too.

With all my gratefulness,

Kimanzi Constable

Try it

You may not be all the way there in your journey but I suggest you write a letter to your haters, why not even do it this weekend?

Writing a letter like this is fun but it will clearly helps you identify all the areas of doubt that a hater or yourself might prey on. It will give you some extra motivation to keep pushing forward.

You can frame it somewhere and keep it until that day when you’e fully living out your dream. Post it on your website then

Do you have any haters? What would YOU say to them?

When I got home some weird things started happening. My tongue went numb, I couldn’t taste anything for a couple of days. Then I started getting some bad headaches, after that I had problems with my left eye and the left side of my face.

I knew something was up but you know how it is, I figured I would be fine in a few days. After a few days I noticed something was differently wrong with my face, so I went in to get it checked out.

The long and short of it is I have Bell’s Palsy disorder. Bell’s Palsy is a condition that paralyzes one side of your face (the left side for me) and happens at least once to 80% of Americans.

There are a few things that can help like steroids (which I don’t want), some natural supplements but generally it clears up on its own, it just takes time. How much time? No one can really say. My brother had it and it went away in two weeks, my Pastor had it and it took two years.

So now when I talk it sounds different and most people stare at my face. I’m not in any pain, it’s just taking some time to get used to eating and not being able to use the left side of my face. My eye on the left side cannot close, so it is constantly watering.

Others have it worse

When we’re faced with difficult situations people often ask us how we feel or how we’re doing. We want to appear strong (some do believe this) so we say we’re good and we know others have it worse. I have said that a lot as people have asked.

Yet the truth is I’m screaming inside! Why me? Why now? I have conferences to speak at and how can I do that without being able to fully talk? I know others have it rough but this is rough for me right here and right now! When will this just go away?

I have gone through the whole range of emotions, I have outwardly been myself, yet inwardly depressed. I know I should turn to prayer but I’ve been too angry.

As I’m writing this I have gotten to the point of acceptance and realization. I do realize that this condition is not the end of the world, I do realize that I’m blessed beyond belief and I have absolutely no reason to be depressed.

I was in Kenya and the Philippines last year so I do know that there are people who are just looking to survive much less have this be considered a “problem.”

Deal with your emotions, then move on

When you’re dealing with a difficult situation the emotions are bound to come, we are emotional people. The key is to NOT bottle them up inside, find someone you know and trust and unload on them (don’t hit them or anything), tell them exactly how you feel.

For myself, I had to pull my wife aside and just get real, I wouldn’t be writing this post if it wasn’t for her support and willingness to listen.

You may be a strong person but no one can do it alone, we all need someone to lean on at one point or another. Reaching out to someone for support can be the difference between realization and absolute defeat! Click to Tweet

After you have gotten those emotions out of your system, move forward and live your life. Now understand that those feelings will always be there somewhere in the back of your mind but living your life means that they won’t win.

We have too much to accomplish

After I got through my emotional issues I realized that I have to get to work. I have big goals and dreams that I want to accomplish this year. I have many people who I want to help make their dreams a reality.

So even though I’m not at 100% physically, I still have to move forward and so do you. I know it’s rough, I know how you feel but this is your year, this is the year when you make all those dreams a reality.

After you’ve accomplish your goals is when you can go back and cry if you want but I’m guessing by then you’ll be over it, I know I will be.

Take an action step

So if you are going through a difficult situation right now then I want you to do one thing right away, even today: reach out and tell someone exactly what’s going on in your mind. 

Please feel free to email me at kimanzi@talesofork.com if you need someone to talk to about what you’re going through. If you do have someone in your life that you can talk to, then please don’t that ASAP.

So that’s your action step to takeaway from this post and the first step in moving forward. So……………

How do you deal with difficult situations? Is there one you feel comfortable sharing?

My wife and daughter

One thing our family decided to do this year was Tae Kwon Do. It was something I always wanted to do as a kid and I knew my kids would love it. The only problem I foresaw was the schedule.

Things are a little bit busy these days so taking on something new…….. We have been doing Tae Kwon Do for about two months and at first I was there every night.

As time has gone on my wife and kids have continued to go but my attendance has slipped. As I get closer to my book launching, as I head out to speak at events worldwide, I just haven’t been able to make it.

I noticed something today that I think I’ve been afraid to say out loud: it’s OK! 

For the last few weeks as my family has continued to go and progress and I’ve continued to miss class and fall behind, I’ve felt very guilty. I’ve had all kinds of thoughts running through my mind telling me I’m not living what I preach, telling me that I’m not trying hard enough.

I had to remind myself of a couples of things that I want to share with you today if you’re in the same boat or if you experience this guilt in the future.

You can’t do it all

As much as I try to practice my superman skills (which I don’t have), reality reminds me that I can’t do everything. I have to let you in on a secret, neither can you!

I know that many of us have big goals this year which will require a lot of work and maybe a lot of tired days but at some point you’ll reach your limit. If you are pushing ahead with your goals and make progress, cut yourself a little slack if you can’t do everything right now. 

You have to take a breather from time to time

I talked about this a few weeks ago but if you don’t properly rest you’ll burn out. Michael Hyatt even goes as far as to say you should consider taking naps during the day and I’m sure his schedule is insane.

Yesterday I was ready to go to Tae Kwon Do when it just hit me, I was too exhausted to go, I just couldn’t do it. I wanted to go so badly and I felt guilty I was even thinking of not going but I had done so much yesterday, I was extremely productive.

Immediately I realized I couldn’t do it all and it was Ok to miss it and just rest. The result was the next day I was rested and not dragging which could have ruined that day.

Give yourself permission to miss whatever you feel guilty about missing and take the rest that could help the rest of your day or week.

You can always revisit when you’re a little less busy

I’ve wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do since I was a kid but now is not the time. I’m speaking a lot, I’m launching a book, I’m coaching and consulting. I’m hitting the gym everyday losing weight, as much as I want to learn, now is just not the time.

After all the craziness of this year dies down I can come back to Taw Kwon Do and give it my full attention. By this time next year I hope to be writing posts telling you about all the boards I broke:)

If there is something in your journey that you just don’t have time for then think long and hard and if you can’t do it right now, come back later. This way you’re not doing a bunch of things half way, you’re focusing and making each thing you do killer good.

Just make sure

I want to give you a word of cation here, please don’t miss interpret what I’m saying. There’s a big difference between not taking on something new because you’re busy and not taking on something new because you don’t feel like it.

Life is too short to accept laziness and we have way too much to accomplish this year. So really examine your motivation for what you take on and what you put off to later, only you can judge.

The bottom line is if you have felt guilty because you’re juggling too much then don’t! Determine what’s important right now and work on things as you have the right time for them. Trust me, your stress level will go down!

What is one thing that you’ve felt guilty about not having time for right now? 

P.S. 

Don’t miss the FREE webinar Jeremy Jones and I are putting on about why most marketing fails. If you’re going to launch a book or anything online this webinar is for you. Even if you can’t make it, sign up to get the replay emailed to you later. Sign up here

A year after that was when I was really ready to take action and make those changes. So what could I do…….

I thought my calling was to be an event planner and if you’ve heard my story before then you know that experience was a complete disaster.

I hadn’t taken any time to figure out what my dream was, I just wanted out and when I thought I knew, I realized I hadn’t given it enough thought.

That brings us to today’s interview with my friend and podcastor Jared Latigo. When I first discovered Jared it seemed like he came out of nowhere. He had a blog and was guest posting everywhere, literally!

Since then he has refined his message and figured out his dream a little more. Sometimes it just takes a little more time and now that Jared has figured it out (we all continue to work on it), he continues to push forward with his dream.

I had the honor to sit down and interview him about his journey, there are many good takeaways that you can apply to your dream. Enjoy:

Be sure to check out more about Jared and his book at his website, Jaredlatigo.com, you can also follow him on Twitter here.

Have you changed any part or all of your dream? How long did it take you to figure out what your dream is?

Growing up with two brothers meant everyday was pretty much a competition, from the time we woke up until the time we went to bed! If one of us did something cool or great then the others would go all out to beat it.

I’d like to tell you that once I grew up I matured and got past that childish jealously but the truth is it’s always there in one form or another.

The sad thing is that even with some success I still get jealous and I know that it holds me back from my true potential.

So it’s time for a little honesty, do you struggle with jealously?

Look, I already know the answer and it’s yes because jealously is part of our nature but the thing that I want you to understand from this post is how much it holds you back.

As we make changes in our lives and chase dreams it’s natural to want to measure our progress. In our minds the way we measure this progress is to compare where we’re at to where others who are doing the same things we’re doing are at in their progress.

An example

I know that many who read this blog are building their Platform as writers and speakers and other online endeavors. As you’re checking your progress you might check out other people’s blogs, and social media accounts.

You might check how many comments they have or how many social media shares they get. You might check how many social media friends and followers they have. You look at all these numbers and if they’re more than yours………….. You have to finish that sentence.

Naturally we have what I call “Dream Jealously.” You know what I’m talking about, you see their numbers and feel like you’re not making progress on your dream.

This applies to any dream, not just the online stuff. You work on your dream, you look at others progress and boom!

Open your eyes

Dream jealously is a form of pride. We want to be the center of attention, we want those friends, followers and social media shares.

One of many problems with looking at what other people are doing is that it takes away from your progress and gets you off course. You spend valuable time checking out what others are doing taking away from the time you can use to create amazing things that can help your dreams and other people’s lives.

You risk getting a little depressed which can cause you to put your dream on the back burner, you just won’t feel like working on them.

Have the right focus

My friend Chaka has told me something repeatedly as I’ve chased my dream: “Don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. You just do the best job you can at what you’re doing and they’ll be looking at you.” Tweet please

Like I said before, even with some success I still find myself comparing my Platform to other people’s but I’M DONE! With this post I’m vowing to you that I’m only looking at what I’m doing and trying to be the best I can be and help as many people as I can help.

My dream is to help as many people as I can realize and make their dreams a reality, my dream is to start a movement of people who don’t settle. With the responsibilities I have and starting this movement the jealously and comparing has to go, I just don’t have time for it anymore.

How about you?

Comparing yourself to other people can only hold you back from your dream. Are you ready to stop and give your dream and life your full attention? Focus on what you’re doing, focus on making your dream a reality.

Focus on your plan and focus on the steps and the action you’re taking. This is your year to make your dreams a reality, there has never been a better time!

Have you ever compared yourself or your dream to someone else? Do you have any tips to stop?

P.S. A couple of reminders:

These are the last few days to sign up for the launch team of my dream (my first published book). It won’t take much of your time, you’ll get some cools gifts and you’ll get to be a part of an amazing community of people who are making their dreams a reality. Details Here

Second, My friend Jeremy Jones and I are doing a FREE webinar on how to market anything online, this is a marketing 101 class that will give you a few tips and tricks to help your marketing efforts! Hope to see you there! Details Here!

Look, I get it, I have been there and said that. However, I think we under-estimate the power of research, a good plan and taking small steps. You can make these big changes in your life, they just won’t happen overnight like we want them to.

I have proof for you today! I had the privilege to interview an amazing man who is chasing his dreams even though he is already RETIRED! Yep, you heard me right, he’s already going through the “rat race” and instead of playing golf all day, he’s chasing his dream of writing.

He has taken a huge step and published his first book, but you’ll hear about it in this interview:

First, you can find author Ernie Wenk at his website . He has a great blog and is a wonderful writer. Next, check out his first book, which you can find on Smashwords here. Ernie was kind enough to send me a copy and I’m really enjoying reading the book, it’s right up my alley! It’s very well written.

You can also connect with Ernie on Facebook here.

How about you?

I know life can be rough sometimes or feel like it all the time, right? I get that but life is short, really short if you think about it. We only get one life and before you can even look up it’s gone.

Now I’m not trying to scare you but after having my father die last year unexpectedly I WAS scared. I would rather die knowing I tried to chase my dream then die knowing I didn’t try because I was too busy watching TV.

I hope and pray that you have started chasing a dream or making a major life change this year, that’s my goal in writing, to help inspire that change. Just keep your eye on the prize and take it one step at a time.

Before you know it, you’ll look up and you’ll be living out your dream, just like Ernie!

So be honest: Have you ever made an excuse to not change something you know or wanted to change?

After a refreshingly peaceful morning that involved hanging out with my family, it was time to get to “work.” I fired up my MacBook Pro and went to the mail app. There were the  blogs I’m subscribed to, there were the emails from people asking specific questions about self-publishing and speaking advice.

There were some offers for advertising on my website and offers to “help me boost traffic” from people, all of this was pretty ordinary. The emails that got my attention right away were from conferences that I sent proposals to speak at, I see these emails and get nervous and excited. Where in the world will I be going to next….

Well, on Monday it was pretty obvious that I would be going nowhere! I had four emails from conferences rejecting me. Now they were nicely phrased, saying they liked my proposal but had to “go in another direction” but it still stung!

I have experienced rejection before and I have written about it several times, I should be an expert. When others have emailed me or called me to tell me about their rejections and have asked me for advice, I have always said to pick your head up and keep pushing forward.

I’d like to tell you that I followed that advice but inside I really didn’t. Right away I was:

• Mad- This is my dream, I should get every conference I propose to, right?
• Proud- How could they not choose an international speaker?
• Depressed- I have made so much progress and now I’m  hitting a wall.

There were a lot of emotions going on inside, yet outwardly I was acting like I brushed it off, I even said so on Facebook Can you relate to going through rejection and feeling like this? 

Accepting the truth

We all have and WILL experience rejection in our life, this isn’t a movie. We all know in our minds what we can and should do but doing it is something else entirely.

Outwardly we can tell people that it’s no big deal while inwardly we’re screaming. Here’s the thing though, you have to let it out!

The truth we have to accept is that rejection will always be there but there’s a greater truth we often miss: holding those emotions inside will lead to bitterness and depression. 

One tip

When you experience rejection, reach out for support, seriously. We may be strong but at one point or another we all need someone to lean on. I’m blessed to have an amazing support group, when I got those rejection emails I called them right away, I know myself and knew how fast I would get emotional.

When you are going through rejection a good supportive friend or family member can do more for you then you realize, reach out! Click to tweet-

The joy that comes

So there I was after talking to my support system, I had to go through the day and get things done. I did and it turned out to be a good, productive day. I woke up the next day, I went through the same routine.

I checked my emails and there’s one from a conference, except this email says “congratulations, we can’t wait to hear your session! You’ve been accepted as speaker at our conference.” So I look at the email because I send out a lot of proposals and couldn’t remember where this conference was. I checked the conference and got a HUGE smile on my face, the conference is in LONDON, England!

The cool thing is I get to bring my wife and accomplish one of my goals that I told you about at the beginning of this year. We will stay in London but also visit Paris, it will be So cool to cross that goal off my list

So after getting rejected, then getting an amazing victory, I’m reminded about the joy that can come from rejection IF you keep pushing forward! 

How have you or do you deal with rejection? Have you had real struggles with dealing with rejection? 

Having said that I need to finalize the team so I can give out the bonuses and start moving forward. I formed the first team that was those who were willing to go ALL out and I did ask for a lot. Thank you to those who signed up for that team.

I formed a second team for those that wanted to help but couldn’t commit to the time it would take, I get that totally. Thank you to those that signed up for that team.

So now that I have looked at everything and my overall plan and have decided to merge both teams and give everyone on each team the book and ALL the bonuses. I know how busy life is, so if you have or will sign up for the team, all I ask is you do what you can to get the word out about the book.

The call for the Living or Existing Launch Team will end on Sunday, March 16, 2013.

If you believe in the message of this blog and the book, then I would ask for your help to get the word out. If you do join this is what you’ll get:

• An advanced electronic copy (PDF) of the manuscript that you can read a months before anyone else will get a copy.
• A free copy of the paperback before it releases.
• Exclusive access to a private Facebook group, where we’ll share promotion ideas and you’ll have direct contact with me. This could also be a good place get some idea’s for your own launch team.
• The opportunity to interact with other launch team members and see the behind-the-scenes of a book launch.
• A special mention on my blog with a link to your website.
• Some freebies that you can use to chase your dreams:

An electronic copy of my first book, Tales of The Everyday Working Man and Woman. This book is all about work and my journey through jobs that I hated. It’s a REAL honest look at what the average everyday working man and woman goes through and how to escape that.

An electronic copy of The Dream Chasers PlayBook. This is the guide I used to go from those jobs that I hated to becoming an international speaker, best-selling author, and consultant. It’s a step by step guide to chasing your dreams without ruining your life.

An electronic copy of The Dream Chasers Guide To Speaking. Have you ever dreamed of traveling the world while speaking and teaching? Last year I spoke on four continents and this year I will be speaking in Israel in a few weeks.  I created this guide to show people how to find and book events, it’s packed with tips and tricks to launch your speaking career.

You’ll get access to a two-hour Q&A session with me where you can ask me anything, literally anything! It will be a good chance to network and get helpful ideas, tips and tricks to help your dream. 

Access to a webinar I’m hosting that will give you some tips on how to become a speaker and how to successfully self-publish. 

So that’s my pitch. If you join the team and help spread this message, then I will become your best friend. If not, then I still appreciate you being a reader of my ramblings

Here is the form: